Lately, I’ve been asking myself all sorts of questions: Am I raising my children the right way? Am I the right example for them? Do I act accordingly? These are questions I can’t objectively answer, and others will probably give me different answers. So, I decided to include books about parenting in my development journey. The most important idea I took away and want to pass on is that we should raise our children by the power of example to have the best chance at success: if you want them to be honest, show them that you are; if you want them to be loving, be loving with your spouse and others; if you want them to be winners, show them that you never give up.

“The only way to raise good kids is to first become good parents.” We must educate ourselves and personally develop as parents to understand and raise children in the way we desire. If we think we’re “the best in the game” and know it all, we may be in for some unpleasant surprises in the parenting process.

“When information (and thought) is positive, we get a positive result, and when information (and thought) is negative, we get a negative result.” Throughout the book, Ziglar draws an analogy between children and parents. This advice, like many others, applies to both: be positive, see the good in your life, focus on the glass half-full rather than half-empty, and life/the universe/God (or whatever you believe in) will continue to bring you those same good things!

“TV – the destroyer of values. Every hour spent in front of the TV is an hour less invested in personal motivation, creativity, and real involvement in others’ lives.” I agree with this statement in 90% of cases. However, television can be used in a way that helps children: educational documentaries, kids’ shows, children’s movies – provided they’re watched in moderation (not 8 hours a day!). From personal experience, our daughter learns many useful things from smart cartoons on Disney Junior or the animated videos we put on her tablet.

“In a person, do not only look for weaknesses and shortcomings, and don’t blame them. Look for the gold, not the mud; the good, not the bad; seek the positive aspects of life. The more qualities you seek, the more you will find.” Each of us has weaknesses and strengths, whether child or adult. If we stubbornly see only the negative aspects/weak parts, that’s all we’ll experience. What’s more, if we emphasize these through gestures, expressions, words, and attitude, we will “help” them grow in the other person’s heart and mind. Tell a child they’re stupid repeatedly, and they’ll start to believe it and act accordingly.

“To raise your children as winners, you need to remind them as often as possible that they are winners.” Or, if you don’t like the word “winner,” find another word that has a positive impact on your child. Personally, I use the word “champion,” and my 3-year-old daughter has begun to understand that this word brings me joy and that it’s good for her to be “a champion.” So she tries to behave well at preschool to earn “smiling faces,” and when she comes home, I pick her up and kiss her, reminding her that she’s a champion!

“Hope is the power that gives anyone the confidence to take one more step and try again.” When a child learns to walk, they fall… and they fall many times! And we, the parents, are there to lift them up, helping them try again and again until they succeed. Yet, as they grow older, we sometimes forget to stay by their side, to keep loving, supporting, and helping them, thinking, “Now they’re big, they should think for themselves,” “Now they’re mature, they should manage on their own,” and so on.

“A strong and united parenting team has the greatest chance to positively influence their children.” In a family, by definition, parents should be a team (not only in raising children but also in household responsibilities, for example). If one parent says, “Turn right,” and the other says, “Turn left,” the child won’t know which direction is correct. However, if both parents say, “Turn left” and even start walking in that direction, the child is much more likely to understand that this is the correct direction and follow it.

“We need four healthy hugs a day to stay well.” And yet, most of the time, we “avoid” hugs, using various silly excuses (what will others think? What if they don’t like it? What if they laugh at me?). I’ve personally experienced what it’s like to hug “just because,” and it’s wonderful. I recommend you try it too – you have nothing to lose!

How do you think is best to raise your children? Do you use the principles described above?